by.........
JQ's conversations
A light-hearted perspective on spirituality
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Friday, September 13, 2013
Rich Vs Poor People Principles - keeping you poor
My eyes slowly adjusted itself to the soft morning light on the glazed windows in my bedroom. It was Saturday and I looked forward to filling
my tummy with tea and perhaps a cinnamon and raisin toast.
Tired of the ridiculous
on-going global debate about what was considered acceptable means of killing
fellow human beings – using bullets or chemical weapons, I did the unthinkable and
fired up FB. Bad habit I know, but for some strange reasons I felt compelled to
do so, even before my tea and toast.
I stared at a title “Rich Vs Poor People Principles” listing
the differences between the rich and the poor. It was compiled by a self-confessed
personal development guru who became a millionaire in 2.5 years and founded the
fastest growing personal development company in North America. He has written a
number of books and claimed to have developed highly effective courses to make
people rich by drawing from his personal made-it and lost-it-all then
made-it-back again story. He wants to teach people to make-it and remain rich
using his 17-point principles.
Ploughing through the 17-point principles, I detected a
slight unease growing in my gut, but I wasn’t sure if it was because of my disgust at the current global debate on Syria’s use of chemical weapons or the 17-point principles
mollycoddling the “Rich” at the expense of the “Poor”. Nevertheless, when I
finished reading the 17th principle, I lost my appetite.
“Why are you annoyed?”
the Universe started.
“Hi, good morning – I am not sure” looking up to the voice
(I don’t’ mean the singing competition on TV).
“I just don’t like the words and the inference in this
17-point principle” I conceded.
“An……d?” One of
those long “and” a consultant would use when they want to extract more
information.
“It creates a ‘them’ and ‘us’ situation inferring that it is
OK to be “Us rich folks” and by inference NOT OK to be them “poor folks”. And
this guru is coming from a presumptive position that to have “made-it” you
ought to be a millionaire and be rich like him. I find that a little arrogant and frankly
sad……….”
“Follow the 17-point principles
and one will always be “poor” by their definition” the Universe
interrupted.
I did not answer - I
was caught off guard. “Huh? You want to explain yourself?” finally found my
balance.
“Notice the whole premise of the personal development guru's principles are about “made it” and getting “there” and by changing ones’ actions
and thoughts one would get to this future utopic place for the “rich”. He has missed the true essence of the two words “made it” and “there”. These two
words are about some place or event in the future. So according
to the principles, once you get “there” you would have “made it” and until you
do, you have not “made it” and therefore deemed “poor”.
Unfortunately there is
no “there” as “there” is but an illusion of the mind. Some place in the future tucked away in some corner of your mind.
And even if you
thought you got to “there”, there will be another “there”; immediately putting
you back into the "not made it” condition until the next “there”. With this you
will continuously not “made it”.
In short you will
continuously be in a situation of being “poor” – according to the 17-point
principles."
“I never thought of it this way. So how do we get there then?”
I thought I would test the Universe
“You Are already
there. There is not need to get anywhere”
“What do you mean? Surely you are not saying I do not have to work hard and plan ahead for my family and my career?” scratching my head.
“Work as hard as you want, make as much money as you want, plan as much as you can and care for your family in a way that is appropriate. You do what is right for you. But do it in the Know that all you
ever have is “here” and “now”. Do whatever you do now and do it well and give
it your best shot. Simply instill a sense of quality in everything you do,
even the simplest things and infuse it with your highest sense of Being. Do it with humility and then
you cannot help but Be successful.
When you do this you are
already “there” - now. There is no need to try and be anywhere else but here enjoying the fruits of your success NOW. Can you see, by not recognising that you are
already “there” now keeps you in a state of “lack” and “poor”.
“Whoah….wait a minute. You are confusing me.”
“What you are simply saying is, if you have not learned to
be happy with what you are and have now, you will never be happy with
what you are going to get” typing furiously.
”Correct and that is
because……..?” challenging me.
“….because Now is all you ever going to get and as
such the future “there” can only happen in the space of now.” I saw the words typed out of my laptop but I am not
sure if it came from me.
“Correct, and if you
do not see it, what happens?”
“…. If I do not see it then I will continue to search because
I deem myself to be “poor” continuously”
“I now see what you mean about the 17-point principles
keeping you poor”
“Well done and enjoy
your cinnamon toast”
I looked up to see my wonderful wife walking into the room
with tea and toast.
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Sunday, March 17, 2013
I can't take it anymore
Finally
Melbourne has decided to face autumn, the temperature is settling into high
teens and the delayed autumn rain has just begun. I visited a close friend of
mine and as soon as I walked into her home, I sensed a heavy discontentment in
the air. No doubt I had walked into the aftermath of another one of their
arguments. I felt hopeless to help; all I could offer was simply a listening
ear to my friend.
As I drove
home I could not help but kept thinking of my friend. Why are people not happy?
Despite the nice home, the luxury car, the private school education and
frequent overseas trips for holidays, why is there yet unhappiness in my
friend?
"The sense of who you are, determines
your perception of your needs. This sense also determines what matters to
you" the Universe
interjects my thoughts.
"Nice
timing mate - I have just got home. Please keep your thoughts" rushing to
get my laptop.
"Take your time" Universe knows I rush around too much.
"My
friend is not coping too well with life. Every little thing seems to trigger
anger and it is usually directed at the spouse"
"As I said, the sense of who you are determines
what matters to you and whatever matters to you have the power to upset and
disturb you. Being aware of what matters to you is a strong indicator of how
you see yourself and how much you know yourself" the Universe starts.
"So you
are saying that we ought to watch what we say or what we believe in? If we
believe we are great we will be great"
"What I am saying is your action and
reaction to matters is a more accurate signpost of who you see yourself to
be"
"Ask yourself what are the things that
upset or disturb you? If small matters upset you then, who you think you are,
is just that: small. That is what you unconsciously see yourself"
"How
can you say that? I know many people are very conscious about wanting to he
happy, they see their therapist, they read appropriate books and has a general
awareness of what they need to be happy and be great" I protest.
"There is no doubt that there is an
increasing awareness by people wanting to be happy or at least not to be
unhappy. But being aware about happiness and truly knowing about happiness are two separate
experiences. You will find that you can read all the books about playing golf -
and yet that will not make you a good golfer."
"You might say to yourself - I am tired
of my life and want to change and be happy. You then consciously seek change and
seriously start to do something about it. You might even see a therapist or
read volumes of new age books to help you feel better about yourself. Your
friends suddenly see the new you, your colleagues notice the change and you
even attract the occasional flirt from strangers you meet at a restaurant. The
new wonderful you has emerged and you generally feel good about yourself."
"Then you find out your spouse is not
coming back, yet again, for dinner or he tells you he needs more space and he doesn't
give you attention and never says he loves you. Suddenly there is the surge of
anger and anxiety, before long you are consumed by this feeling of anger, hopelessness,
frustration and even hatred. Not getting what you need from your spouse made you feel forever trapped and say 'I cannot take this anymore' you start to
scream. You then attack, blame, complain, scream and justify your reactions all done
on auto-pilot."
"Hang
on here - what is wrong in wanting love and attention from your spouse?
Everyone has a right to be loved especially by the spouse? There are certain
expectations within a marriage and both people in the union surely must fulfill these expectations? Otherwise what is the point in being around someone who continues to belittle you?"
"Well what happened to the new wonderful
you we talked about a moment ago? What has changed? Could this wonderful new you change because of the opinion of your spouse? "
"What
do you mean? If someone treats me with no love or has no care for me would you
not expect me to do something about it?" typing on my laptop furiously.
"Its a matter of choice. If you choose
to be that wonderful new person then BE that wonderful new person regardless of
the opinion of others. See yourself as that person and not react to small
matters like the opinion of others to give justification to be the new
you. You need no justification by others. In challenging situations you remain
non-reactive and alert that these situations do not change who you are. Then
out of this alertness you respond to the situation. This response will come
from the inner you, the real you, the wonderful you - not the small you. Your
response will be appropriate and effective and it would make no person or
situation the enemy. You simply accept the situation and deal with the situation."
"So
what would you say to my friend?" I want to get some practical outcome
out of this conversation.
"Know who you want to be and when you
do, remain as that person regardless of the opinion of others. Do not beat
yourself up because of the opinion of another - simply stay in the know that you
are a wonderful person and you live your life as this wonderful person. On the contrary, see
yourself as small and you will react to small matters - see yourself as
wonderful and these small matters suddenly will become insignificant. The rest
will take care of itself."
"So in
short you are saying is, if you sense yourself as a great, beautiful and
wonderful person small matters will not bother you? But staying in this frame
of thought must be difficult? How can I help my friend stay in this state of
thought?"
"Just like playing golf - practice,
practice and practice. Treat anger, blame, complain and every challenging situation as an opportunity to practice non-reaction. It does not mean you do not do anything about situations that you do not like. It just simply means that you now can deal with the situation from the perspective of your higher more wonderful self. Try not not to let small things bother you as you are beyond and above all these small matters. Soon your friend will find out that
her life will turn for the better, as a wonderful person cannot help but affect
every thing or person she comes in contact with turning them into a just a
wonderful person as she is"
Silence...........
Thank you dear Universe.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Moment of death
What does it feel like at the moment of impending death?
I want to change the conversation to involve a little sharing on my part. I want to share this with you - dear Universe. It is a true account of an incident related to me by a friend.
My first trip to the Gold Coast beach, Queensland's sunshine coast, almost ended up in disaster. With an advertisement tag line "Beautiful one day perfect the next", the Gold Coast became a mecca for young sun-seekers and surfers. I decided to take on surfing foolishly thinking it was no more than simply hiring a surfboard, paddle out to sea far enough to catch a big wave back to shore. How hard would that be and I have seen it all on TV? I was soon to find out.
Just like the surfers on TV, I paddled out to sea, riding the waves easily. When I thought I had gotten far enough and the breaking waves were sufficiently large enough to catch back to shore, I positioned myself for a fun ride back to shore. With great effort I tried to turn around to face the shore and struggled with the board and the waves. I found it hard to stay on the shore-side of the waves before they broke. With the buoyancy of the surfboard I floated easily over the waves only to be dragged further out by the rip current. Realising imminent danger, I struggled to keep control trying to stay on the shore side of the waves but failed every time. With every wave, I was dragged even further out to sea.
After numerous attempts I started to feel tired and thought it was time I got off the surfboard and waded ashore. It was then I realised that I was out too far; my feet did not touch ground. I was in deeper waters than I thought. A sense of panic gripped me as I looked towards the shore. It looked too far for me to swim, as I was not a strong swimmer. I thought a better option was to hang on to the board and try to 'surf' back to shore. The waves pounded on me continuously; I kept slipping off the surfboard struggling to stay afloat, knowing if I let go, I would not have enough energy to swim ashore. By this time I knew I was in trouble, too exhausted to swim and unable to 'surf' back to shore. Panic turned into trembling fear making it even harder to hang on to the board. The waves continued pounding and I knew I was fighting a losing battle. I was in near exhaustion fighting to stay afloat whist dealing with the gripping fear of drowning. Just as my energy level was just about depleted, one particularly large wave crashed over me, dragging me under. With the board torn off my clutching hands and my body gripped with trembling fear, I was dragged down into the depths of the ocean. It felt like I was in a large washing machine going through its final washing cycle.
As I tumbled underwater, I realised it was all over. It was the end of the struggle to hang on to my life and to survive. Overwhelmed by intense fear and panic I remember saying to myself "You are gone now! You will drown."
Suddenly there was complete silence.
The moment moved in slow motion.
And with outstretched arms, my final thoughts were "Take me!"
The feeling then was one I would never forget. At that moment there was no more fear, just complete peace in readiness to be taken. It was as if once I had given up the struggle and surrender to the moment the end was peace and quietness.
Death and peace seemed to co-exist. Fear did not exist in the moment of death.
Then my feet touched the ground. I found my balance, got to my feet and stood up to ear-high water level. The large wave must have pushed me towards shore. Almost immediately fear and panic exploded in me. I had a fighting chance to survive, I was given a second chance in life. Struggling to maintain balance on tiptoes, I headed for shore trembling and perspiring. When I reached the warm sand of the shore, I slumped on the beach, breathing life sustaining air - lying in the sun, thanking the universe for not taking me.
"Breathtakingly true"....... Universe finally said something.
"Breathtakingly true"....... Universe finally said something.
What is Success?
We are
already a few days into Autumn, but Melbourne is refusing to let Summer go
showing a perfect day with 27 degrees, bright sunshine and light breeze. I have
just finally set my chilli plant free from pot to the ground - a successful
transplant. I am looking forward to more wonderful red chillis in months to
come.
Admiring my
new chilli plant amongst the Loofahs and chives, I thought. "I had a
successful day in the garden"
"What is being successful in life
means?" Universe
interrupted my mind.
"Wow, a
little heavy at this time of the day?" sipping my cool ice drink reaching
for my keyboard to record this conversation.
"May be
a Ferrari and a villa in the South of France, exotic dinners and parties,
power, recognition, status, happy family, children, etc, etc " I could go
on and on and on..... testing the Universe.
"Is that so?" Universe interjected.
If you ask the same question to 100 people I bet most would say
similar things but with varying emphasis.
"Is
that so?"
Frankly I am getting tired of this answer. I thought it serves no
purpose and it is rather annoying to get the same answer all the time.
"Can we stop the "is that so?" bit and move
on?" Getting frustrated.
"The
world will tell you that success is about achieving what you set out to do.
They will tell you that success is about winning, being financially secure,
recognition and so forth. But let me tell you they are only by products of
success. They are not success"
"I am listening" getting interested.
"You
cannot become successful, you can only BE successful. The world doesn't tell
you this, because it doesn't know"
"I really do not get you" keeping my fingers poised
ready for the answer I am going to post.
"What is "BE successful?"
" Simply
instil a sense of quality in everything you do, even for the most simplest
things. You do this by realising that the outcome of your future rests entirely
with what you are doing now. Realise that there are no other moments except
this moment. So give this moment its fullest attention. In other words be
successful in everything you do NOW."
"Wait a minute, well does this not mean that we do not plan?
What about what we want to achieve in the future? Our careers, our family
etc?"
"I
never said not to plan and I never said you do not consider the future. What I
am saying is if planning is what you can do for the moment - give it the
fullest attention. Even with a plan/journey, the primary step is the step you
are doing now, because this moment is all you ever have. What you encounter at
the destination can only be determined by quality of this particular step at
this particular moment."
"So what has this got to do with successful?"
"Simply this, when your doing is infused
with the quality of Being, then you cannot help but BE successful. This will
apply to whatever you choose to do."
"Well if this is case then would we ever achieve something
big if all we ever do is focus on minute little moments every second?"
"The
great can only arise out of honouring and caring for small things. Do you not
know that Apple Corporation came out of passion and attention to small details in
the garage of Mr & Mrs Jobs? Did Steve Jobs ever think of having a company
that has the largest capitalisation in the world when he was in this garage? He
only gave his full attention to doing what he was doing at that moment and at
every moment. When Steve and Wozniak first assembled those 12 circuit boards
they focused on making the best boards."
"Heard
of the saying - The journey of a 1000 steps starts with this step - each step
being just as important as the next."
"You will only ever have the present
moment - regardless of our grand plans and past experiences, we only have this
moment to create and the result of this creation is totally dependent on the
quality of what we do NOW. When you make what you do or where you are as the
main purpose of your life, until the next change, then this awareness becomes
very powerful. It means acceptance, it means doing the best and it means none
attachment. Change is a given, accept it, work with it and know that in
whatever situation you find yourself in, it too will pass"
"Practice this and this will be your
success"
Silence.........
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Letting Go
A relative
whom I have not spoken to for more than 10 years rang me out of the blue
telling me about her pain and suffering she endured from her husband's
infidelity. Towards the end of our conversation, she confessed that after so
many years she was still in pain and cannot forgive and move on.
I could not
give her a simple explanation about moving on and what it really means to move
on. I felt sad that I was not able to help her during our conversation.
"There is no need to feel sorry" the Universe came to my rescue.
"How can
I simply explain to her about moving on? Sometimes you guys use explanation
that is too vague requiring a Phd in philosophy just to understand it. Do you
not use simple language with simple human terminology?"
"I can see your frustration"
"Yes I
am pissed off" I protested.
"You must care for your relative?"
"Yes I
do" feeling a lot calmer. Please forgive me I just swore at the Universe.
"You are forgiven. Let me tell you a
story"
"That
is a good start. I learn better relating to stories"
"Two monks went for a walk and they came
across a young woman pregnant with child by a shallow fast flowing stream. The
older monk went by the woman, picked her up and carried her across to the other
side putting her down. The monks walked on in silence. 5 hours later as they
were returning to their monastery, the other much younger monk couldn't
restrain himself anymore. "Why did you touch the woman and even carried
her on your shoulders across the stream? Monks are not allowed to do such
things."
"I put the woman down hours ago - are
you still carrying her?" was the older monk's reply.
"I see
your meaning. My relative is still carrying the past in her - reliving it during
every waking moment and in every conversation. She spent the whole conversation
talking about how bad her ex-husband was and what he did that destroyed her. That
happened 10 years ago. She is still an angry and resentful person."
"Living in the prison of your past
memories is truly hell on earth, unable to let go of situations that happened
in the past which has absolutely no relevance to the present."
"The past are but just thoughts/memories
in your minds and they are never a part of your current situation. In fact thoughts
in itself are not problems as you can learn from them. The real problem starts
when you make these thoughts/memories as part of their current sense of self.
In this instance you cannot separate thoughts in your mind and the true person
you are now. In short your relative who was heart broken by her husband, has
made her past part of who she is today even though her husband has remarried
another woman. She has become a prisoner of her past memories. She will carry
this burden of imprisonment as long as she allows these past thoughts to be
part of the make up of who she is today."
"She
still feels the pain she has enough of it and wants to Move On... but
how?"
"By letting go of the woman by the
stream"
"There
you go again - being vague and philosophical, I need to know HOW DOES ONE MOVE
ON?" finding myself banging on my keyboard in frustration.
"By not giving power to these past
thoughts."
"By understanding that if you give power
to these thoughts you are then living in a mind prison"
"By knowing that these past thoughts are
just mind stories"
"By knowing that these past thoughts cannot
stop you from choosing who you want to be today"
"By turning off this pre-recorded story
in her mind"
"By recognising that these
thoughts/memories have not relevance in her life situation anymore"
"By choosing to let go and move on"
My fingers
are slipping off the keyboard, I am typing so fast. Phew I have just finished......
"Thank
you again Universe"
"See you next time"
Sunday, February 17, 2013
I am not Me
At my bank a
few years ago I noticed an elderly man, probably in his 80s, leaning over the teller's
counter looking frustrated. He could not produce any acceptable form of ID to
the teller and he was getting increasingly agitated trying to convince the
teller who he was.
"Don't
you know? I am me, I am me" quivering and waving his hands in the air much
to the amusement of the other customers.
That was
five years ago and I never gave the incident much thought until I hear this
2-year old girl at the park asking her mum for a drink.
"Amy
wants a drink" pointing to her heart. It is as if there is another person
inside her wanting a drink.
That got me
thinking. If there is another person inside her that is "Amy" then
who is this little girl who is doing the asking? That invokes the memory of the
elderly man's statement at the bank. His "I am ME" must mean there is
a "ME" inside his "I". Is there a message here?
"Amy.....
full" the little girl thanks her mother, wiping her mouth and happily toddles
off to the swings.
There must be
two of us in every one of us. Arghhhhh!!
"What do you think?" the Universe interrupts my thoughts.
"I
don't know"
"You know messages come from unexpected people"
I subscribe
to the belief that messages will come at appropriate times and they will come often
enough for me to learn. The message from the elderly man and now this little
girl must be for me to learn about "I" and "Me".
"So is
there a truth about I and a ME and if so who is I and who is ME?" Feeling
insane for even asking this question.
"You are not insane and yes there is a
truth about I and ME. However, the only way to know this truth is to experience
it. Explanations using words does not do it justice. Words merely point to the truth
it doesn't give you the true knowledge. At best, words and labels provide a
concept of the truth. Some people can convince you that durians are horrible and
yet they have never tasted it themselves.
"I am
not quite sure what you mean"
"Unfortunately most humans tend to
associate their true self with the words and mental labels they develop for
themselves as they grow up. Most humans loose this connection with their true
self right from very young and replace their true self with words and mental
labels learned from parents, friends, experiences or their own reading, and
take as truth about themselves. In no time this concept of who they are,
defined by those words are mistakenly taken to be the truth. Their true self is
then forgotten."
"You
are loosing me"
"Bear with me"
"The word "I" is perhaps the
worst definition for the person who says it and unfortunately one of the most
used words to describe who we are. The word "I" is an illusion and it
is only a derived concept of who we truly are. It is a signpost pointing to the
truth. Albert Einstein referred to this as "the optical illusion of
consciousness" This signpost or illusion sets the basis of our definition
of who we are - and with this illusion or the concept of ourselves, we relate
to the world.
"Wooooo,
what you are saying is that we are only showing a concept of who we are and
assuming that this concept is the actual us?"
Scratching
my head, unsure of what I am typing.
"The little girl Amy, has just learned from
her parents to produce a sound from her vocal chords. The sound is "Amy"
and she begins to have this thought in her mind that this sound - Amy - is who
she is. Her parents have given her a concept of who this true person is. If you
like, a representative of this true person or consciousness. The sound Amy then
becomes a signpost pointing to this little girl's pure consciousness"
"As this girl grows she attaches more
thoughts associated with this signpost. "Me" and "Mine" are
possessive thoughts of objects that belong to this representative of her
consciousness. This original thought is then further shaped by her experiences
- both pleasant and unpleasant - acquired knowledge, opinions, likes and
dislikes aggregated to then define the sense of self for this girl. It is this
girl's "me and my story".
I need to
clear my mind.... got to stop and have my cracker barrel cheese and biscuits.
"Enjoy!"
"I am
back" with a freshly brewed flat white coffee ready to chip in when I need
caffeine.
"So
what happens to this original consciousness whilst Amy's representative is
being defined and developed?"
"Nothing. Amy's consciousness maintains
its innocence and beauty just as the day she was born. Just as the beauty of a
flower that has inspired countless artist and poets. You just feel the presence
of the flower's consciousness when you are amongst them and when you see them.
Seeing a beautiful flower reminds us of the beauty that underlines each and
every human. This beauty of a flower is the same beauty in a human. The innocence
of other living beings, like a puppy, kitten or human baby is a window into the
beauty of the underlining consciousness of all living things"
"So
what you are saying is: as Amy grows, she continues to shape her concept of
herself and becomes some form of an aggregated data of who she thinks she is.
She could be a scientist, teacher, astronaut, mother, accountant - whatever she
creates herself underneath this signpost, her consciousness remains the same. That
is the consciousness of her innocence and beauty. And when she says "I
am......" unhappy, sad, discarded by my lover/husband, etc it only defines
her concept of herself not the true consciousness that lies underneath the
"I". In short there is a true Me underneath Amy's I"
I am typing
furiously now, I think I got it and I feel really weird to now know that there
is a real "Me" underneath the "I" that I have created for
myself in my years living on this earth.
Perhaps the
little girl in the park and the elderly man I saw years ago are there to give
me insight and the confidence to put this out there in my blog and running the
risk of being branded insane or simply confused.
"Stop beating yourself up again and you
are not insane"
"Thank
you" I see Amy turning around and smiling knowingly at me - waving good-bye
as her mum walks her home. Thank you Amy
for teaching me.
Monday, February 11, 2013
Happiness or Inner Peace You Choose
The worst of
summer is probably over. The days are settling into an average of 30 degrees instead of the mid 40s. We
have just celebrated the Chinese New Year, my family welcomed the year of the
Snake with the all-important new year eve dinner. I get a plethora of well
wishes on FB including wealthy, healthy, happy, etc but one stood out very
clearly - he wished me inner peace. I did not think too much about the message
until now - when I am at peace and yet again in my small side patio sipping my
morning coffee.
"Wondered what is the difference between
happiness and inner peace is?" Universe started this time before I had a
chance to ask any questions.
"Oh now
you are being pro active this morning?"
"You have asked this before but you have
forgotten that you did"
I must have
and who am I to argue with the Universe. OK so I did, then tell me more.
"Yes there is a clear difference. Happiness
is dependent on some conditions being perceived as positive but inner peace
does not"
"Well then to be happy will be simple. All I
have to do is change my attitude and think positive on all matters all the time. So where does inner peace comes in?"
"Do you truly know what positive is and
what negative is? Sometimes you may think that your experience is positive only
to turn into a negative experience? Known of people who had a wonderful love-filled
romantic wedding then turning into a disastrous and bitter divorce later?"
Or people who have changed their lives drastically for the better after a heart attack or near-death experience?
In essence there is neither positive nor negative in the larger perspective. Situations
are just as they are"
"Huh? I
cannot pretend that things are good when an obvious bad thing has happened?
Death, accidents, illness or pain are not good and I cannot simply deny that it
is not bad. That would be self deceiving wouldn't it?"
"You are not pretending, you are simply
allowing the situation to be as it is. Obviously when your loved one has a
major accident of has just died, you cannot be happy about it. But you can be
at peace with it - you can be crying and feel the loss, but you can still be at
ease with the death or accident. Once you accept the situation and allow the
situation to be - you will find underneath this sadness or unhappiness the
presence of quiet strength. It is sacred. This is...... inner peace. A place
where there is no good nor bad."
"This
is all too difficult to understand. Can you give me a simpler example?"
"Imagine you are sitting on your balcony
enjoying the fresh evening breeze. Then the foul smelling cooking from your
neighbour wafts in once again. They are foreigners in our country and cooking their strange
smelling food. Almost immediately they
spoil the fresh evening breeze of yours. To top it off your neighbour adulterate the quiet neighbourhood you live in with their loud voices and communal dining. Annoyance and then
anger arises in you. "How could they be so insensitive", you start justifying your anger. "I
am going to Twit about this and also going to write about them on FB, I might
even write an article in my daily newspaper column teaching them how to behave
in our country" - you continue to fuel your anger and before long it spills into an
all out revenge."
"OK
what is your point?" I am getting impatient, as Universe is taking too
long.
"Observe yourself - that is precisely my
point"
"Is there a need to be annoyed with your
neighbours? What does this annoyance do for you? And is there a need to take
revenge?"
"What
else can I do? I have a right too don't I?"
"Allow things to be as it is. Try this -
instead of letting this smell or noise build in you - just imagine yourself to
be transparent. Imagine the smell and noise just simply going through you.
Imagine that you are NO THING - just an empty space and the smell and noise simply
passes through you. You have no resistance. This no-resistance is your inner
peace unaffected by neither smell nor noise."
"Well
if my neighbour continues to be loud and affect not just me but others in my community do we not do something
about it? Do we just simply accept and let things get out of hand? Can we not at least compromise?"
"If you ever need to do something then it
is fine. But do it from this inner peace. Whatever you do from this inner peace
will be done in the right way and at the right moment. It will come from a quiet need to effect a change or strike a compromise. There will be no blaming no accusation just a smooth conduit to find a solution. More importantly, whatever you do will
not be from anger or revenge, it will be done from a calm disposition. In this
way annoyance, anger and revenge has not place. Don't you think so?"
Silence..........
"....by the way, the neighbour's story I just told you? -
its a true story that happened in one country in South East Asian. Sad isn't
it?"
Silence
again.
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